Written by Kim Westlake
Have you thought about areas in your life you’ve strived to be perfect? Have you asked yourself why?
This morning I woke up and pondered something that I’ve been doing since my teens - layering foundation, powder, eyeliner, eyebrow pencil, rouge and lipstick on my face. I’ve also applied false eyelashes on occasion and tried Botox to mask my imperfections in the past.
My plan today is to go skiing at Whistler Olympic Park - my happy place, where I’ll breathe in the air, get some exercise with the dogs and connect with nature. If I really want to show up authentically, why do I need the facepaint? I’ve decided to forego it today and show up as me - perfectly imperfect.
When you think about the roots of perfectionism, where do they originate? Most of us would agree that the desire to be perfect (there’s not such a thing by the way), comes from a lack of self-worth, feeling unappreciated, low self-esteem, feeling less than, not good enough, comparing ourselves to others, allowing our inner critic to rule and holding ourselves to high and often unachievable standards.
If I could just have a perfectly fit body, a beautiful face, a gorgeous home, amazing children, a perfect partner, a successful career, adhere to a healthy lifestyle, travel to amazing places, rival Marie Kondo, be a Whitewater Cook...then I’ll be perfect - wouldn’t I?
When I think of perfectionism I start to think about what I have and don’t have in my life, what’s not going well, my (many) failures in life and what I’m still not doing right now. I start to compare myself to others, and my inner critic always tells me that I’m not good enough.
So how do I stop listening to my inner critic and open to letting go of perfectionism? I’m realizing this thing called life isn’t always easy and I don’t have all the answers. For me, it’s about letting go of my ego, learning to ask and receive help, from others and particularly from a power that is much bigger than me.
Learning to trust and believe that I’m perfect, or as I like to say, “perfectly imperfect” in the eyes of the universe.
How will letting go of perfect serve you?
This month's Sharing Circle will be hosted online! Join us at 5 p.m. on Tuesday, March 31 on Zoom. Meeting details will be sent when you register though the link below.
Please note: Sharing Circles are facilitated by donation, however no one will be turned away based on ability to pay. If you would like to attend but are unable to donate please contact email@example.com to reserve your space.
Kim Westlake is a Certified Life & Recovery Coach and SHE RECOVERS Coach and facilitates the monthly circles.
Each month at our SHE RECOVERS Sharing Circles Sea to Sky Group we focus on a different topic that supports building recovery capital and resilience in our lives.
For more information or to join us, please visit Sea to Sky Coaching or contact Kim at firstname.lastname@example.org